When I was a little boy, I would ask God to heal my brother. 
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And as a child, you actually believe miracles like this are possible.
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But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve prayed in such a way less and less. 
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I know when God restores his creation in the time to come, Nathaniel will be apart of that.
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However, I’ve noticed lately my everyday “love” for God is lacking something:
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Trust.
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It’s easy to love God. What’s not to love?
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But do we actually trust him?
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Trust him with our dreams & desires? Family and finances? Everything in our lives?
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If I’m honest, I’ve been having trust issues with God lately. 
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Between my brother’s condition, the loss of my Dad, and a few other things, I’ve been living with a mindset which says “This is just how things are in the fallen world. Get over it.”
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When it comes to answering prayers, it’s not that I don’t think God can, but that he won’t right now.
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This mindset keeps me from being completely honest with God about how I feel in certain situations and what I actually want to see happen. 
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In turn, my prayers have been anything but bold lately. 
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But what I’m actually doing is robbing myself not of these answered prayers, but intimacy with God.
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You can’t have true intimacy without total trust.
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Regardless whether or not my prayers are answered, I know deep down what my heart is longing for is intimacy.
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For the sake of my relationship with God, I’m choosing to pray differently.
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So I’m starting the process of learning to trust God again.
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In Matthew, Jesus says “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
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My first prayer is that you all would join me in learning to truly trust God again. 
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Why? Because it’ll be worth it.
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📷: Heartsong Photography by Kacey Gruen